totally awesome, even though longer would've been nice

try a pause button for the future?

Put the cock down!

only three and a half because it is apparently impossible to get the tv-star and thus finish the game

Game might improve with better graphics, so that you can actually see what you're doing.
I also considered some of the items useless: tinderbox, because he seems unwilling to find any wood; hammer&nails, didn't seem to work on anything; why the hell is there a rifle!?; and the hatch is too hard to spot, I personally clicked on it by accident

nicely done, he does become a douche, but my achievements stopped being ticked off fix that bug!